Oh, I see you.
I see you, bloggers who have said they were stepping away from Anthem until they fix the core issues. I hear you, I agreed with you, and yet I see you.
I mean, that’s only because I am in game there too, with you, but that is completely beside the point, right?
As my Dad used to say, in his infinite parenting wisdom (that I now share with my son every time I am caught going against what I said):
“Do as I say, not as I do“
I logged in instead of buying The Division 2. I was very close to buying it. I wanted my looter shooter fix. The thing that made me log in was NOT the new Elysian
crapshes caches, definitely NOT the chance to get a less than 1% chance on a legendary to have some sort of semblance of progression in this game. Nope, none of those things. They finally, finally put in an armor suit worth buying. One that I actually wanted. And since there has been complete shit in the store I had a couple hundred thousand coin to spend, 61,000 of which for the suit. Did I mention how stupid it is for a game monetizing cosmetics to not have cosmetics available?
And yes, while I have been pretty mean to Anthem (even in this article) I mean, since I am IN game already, and have a shiny new suit, might as well go do something, right? checks the daily to get an Elysian key – oh, I can do a single legendary contract. No biggie. Besides the name being a complete lie (you don’t get legendary items from them, ever, it’s just a fancy way to say “this is harder than normal ones” I might as well do the one.)
Wait.. is that light blue? No, yes, that is DEFINITELY yellow! A legendary. I mean, this must be from an EA evil AI that has been reading my keystrokes and formulating that I am a hater, so it will give me a single legendary as a “f@ck you” moment. And then maybe I will share the single Legendary item on twitter and tag a dev, who will then retweet it and say “see, nothing is wrong here!”
Oh, I also got a key. Well, as much as I hate this game right now, I might as well Quickplay a Stronghold and use the key. Since I am already logged in. I already know it will be The Heart of Rage stronghold since everyone is farming the first two chests and bailing on the semi-difficult boss. Since everyone is optimizing. 10 more minutes of gameplay won’t hurt..
Well, that’s just rude. Now you are just taunting me. 125 hours of gameplay for my first couple of legendaries, and then two more in what, 30 minutes? You really do hate me, and are just rubbing it in now, aren’t you? Well, since I am in game I might as well check what dailies there are. Hrm. 2000 coin if I complete 6 freeplay missions? Well, I did just spend 61,000 on a new suit, AND another 12,000 on dragon scale texture (yes, that is cool). OK, I need the coin. The irony of Freeplay mode is that there is a community made side game that I demonstrate in full capacity in the self made video below:
Due to the volume of crap the game gives you (crap being absolutely anything purple or below) the community has taken great pride in showing how they can loot the crafting materials WITHOUT touching the garbage loot. As I demonstrated above, and do a happy, happy dance.
Of course Freeplay is bugged and it only recognizes 3 events at a time. I figure this out after 9 events. Frustrated I spent an hour and a half in game having fun. Screw you and your fun, SHOW ME THE LOOTS. So I have to quit, leave the cool people I am playing with, and start a new sesh. (Sesh is cool talk for session. We are working on being more hip here at IHASPC).
I speed through the first two, dying to get out of game and play something far more progressive and engaging, like Project 1999. Finally, a third event pops. Easy peezy lemon breezy, power through it, and kill the Ursix. Wait, what?
That’s it. I have HAD IT. THREE LEGENDARY ITEMS IN 2.5 HOURS. It’s not supposed to be this way. I am supposed to grind and HATE and write about the HATE I have for the game and now I just know that I am not going to see another Legendary item in MONTHS AND MONTHS. SCREW YOU BIOWARE. SCREW YOU ANTHEM. I’M DONE.
(well, until 8am EST tomorrow. That’s when the daily reset happens)