The Anthem of Hipocrisy

Oh, I see you.

I see you, bloggers who have said they were stepping away from Anthem until they fix the core issues. I hear you, I agreed with you, and yet I see you.

In game.

I mean, that’s only because I am in game there too, with you, but that is completely beside the point, right?

As my Dad used to say, in his infinite parenting wisdom (that I now share with my son every time I am caught going against what I said):

“Do as I say, not as I do

Still beautiful

I logged in instead of buying The Division 2. I was very close to buying it. I wanted my looter shooter fix. The thing that made me log in was NOT the new Elysian crapshes caches, definitely NOT the chance to get a less than 1% chance on a legendary to have some sort of semblance of progression in this game. Nope, none of those things. They finally, finally put in an armor suit worth buying. One that I actually wanted. And since there has been complete shit in the store I had a couple hundred thousand coin to spend, 61,000 of which for the suit. Did I mention how stupid it is for a game monetizing cosmetics to not have cosmetics available?

Finally a Colossus suit with a head showing fully. Yummy!

And yes, while I have been pretty mean to Anthem (even in this article) I mean, since I am IN game already, and have a shiny new suit, might as well go do something, right? checks the daily to get an Elysian key – oh, I can do a single legendary contract. No biggie. Besides the name being a complete lie (you don’t get legendary items from them, ever, it’s just a fancy way to say “this is harder than normal ones” I might as well do the one.)

wait.. it IS yellow

Wait.. is that light blue? No, yes, that is DEFINITELY yellow! A legendary. I mean, this must be from an EA evil AI that has been reading my keystrokes and formulating that I am a hater, so it will give me a single legendary as a “f@ck you” moment. And then maybe I will share the single Legendary item on twitter and tag a dev, who will then retweet it and say “see, nothing is wrong here!”

Oh, I also got a key. Well, as much as I hate this game right now, I might as well Quickplay a Stronghold and use the key. Since I am already logged in. I already know it will be The Heart of Rage stronghold since everyone is farming the first two chests and bailing on the semi-difficult boss. Since everyone is optimizing. 10 more minutes of gameplay won’t hurt..


Well, that’s just rude. Now you are just taunting me. 125 hours of gameplay for my first couple of legendaries, and then two more in what, 30 minutes? You really do hate me, and are just rubbing it in now, aren’t you? Well, since I am in game I might as well check what dailies there are. Hrm. 2000 coin if I complete 6 freeplay missions? Well, I did just spend 61,000 on a new suit, AND another 12,000 on dragon scale texture (yes, that is cool). OK, I need the coin. The irony of Freeplay mode is that there is a community made side game that I demonstrate in full capacity in the self made video below:

Bad touch. Bad touch.

Due to the volume of crap the game gives you (crap being absolutely anything purple or below) the community has taken great pride in showing how they can loot the crafting materials WITHOUT touching the garbage loot. As I demonstrated above, and do a happy, happy dance.

Of course Freeplay is bugged and it only recognizes 3 events at a time. I figure this out after 9 events. Frustrated I spent an hour and a half in game having fun. Screw you and your fun, SHOW ME THE LOOTS. So I have to quit, leave the cool people I am playing with, and start a new sesh. (Sesh is cool talk for session. We are working on being more hip here at IHASPC).

I speed through the first two, dying to get out of game and play something far more progressive and engaging, like Project 1999. Finally, a third event pops. Easy peezy lemon breezy, power through it, and kill the Ursix. Wait, what?

I must be dreaming

That’s it. I have HAD IT. THREE LEGENDARY ITEMS IN 2.5 HOURS. It’s not supposed to be this way. I am supposed to grind and HATE and write about the HATE I have for the game and now I just know that I am not going to see another Legendary item in MONTHS AND MONTHS. SCREW YOU BIOWARE. SCREW YOU ANTHEM. I’M DONE.

(well, until 8am EST tomorrow. That’s when the daily reset happens)

6 comments / Add your comment below

  1. Haha! I logged in after 1.0.4 to take a look, but I admitted that in my journal post. Also acknowledged it was against better judgement too, I still think I SHOULD just wait a while for a number of such patches to drop.

    I think again I’ll actually do so now, I think 1.0.4 convinced me.. But this might be another, ‘I’m done with WoW. For REAL this time.’ scenario and next patch will see me straight back in again. ;D

    If the additional player progression options and new stronghold are forthcoming next month them I’m almost certainly in for those.

    On the Legendary thing? Yeah… I wondered. I played maybe another hour tops post 1.0.4 and got a legendary. (Not a good one, but that’s beside the point I guess.)

    1. All Legendaries are good, only for the fact they jump up your Armor / shields / DPS by the base amount. The perks are secondary. I definitely had fun writing the post but also had a chuckle when I was in game, and seeing “XXX is playing Anthem” pop up time and time again, many who said they were taking a break (like me, hence the hipocrisy line, *grin*)

      If I can’t laugh at myself (and you) I mean, who can I laugh at? Asmiroth? (wait…)

  2. Everyone has that friend that has the best intentions but makes horrible decisions. You stick with them for it, usually much too long, and then you’ve had enough.

    It’s frustrating to see a game with such fun mechanics be bogged down by problems that were solved years ago. I think because the solution is so mind blowingly evident, my expectations that the “fix” was around the corner kept me going. And that every patch somehow manages to break a key part of the game.

    I ran a GM2 stronghold on the weekend, opened 4 chests too! Got 4 crafting materials. That was the final straw.

    At some point it will improve. I’ll check back then. For now, my game library is calling me.

    1. I know, I know. I thought that too, and then loot showered from the sky. And the Elysium thing is “no duplicates” so once you get the poopy rewards you are guaranteed to get less poopy rewards in the future. I have half a dozen decals so far. 80% of which are “meh”.

      If that doesn’t scream “keep playing!” I don’t know what does!

      Agree the gameplay is amazing. The only bad part of the game is when you get loot for your efforts. Odd that what should be the best part of the game is the most disappointing one.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: